More Chemo

Good news, my hemoglobin is 11.4, that is great news. I was very nervous and scared on Wednesday the 18th when I had my first treatment of Taxol. Afraid of the unknown, how will this medicine effect me? Will I be ok? The good news is that I had no reaction to the treatment. Betty came and stayed with me and brought me home. However I was very tired and went to bed at 7:00 P.M.

On Thursday I had a mild reaction, everyone kept asking why my neck was so red so I took a look and not only was my neck red but so was my face and my chest area. It looked like a bad sunburn without blisters. I was very tired today but that got better in the afternoon.

At 1:40 A.M. Friday I woke up with reflux. Went to work and the nausea started about 5:00 A.M. I took my compazine and it did not work. Dr. G
gave me a prescription for zifran and that seemed to work. I was able to eat lunch with no problem. In the afternoon I developed bone pain in my legs and hips. Could not get comfortable no matter what I did. Then along came the numbness and tingling in the toes and I also lost the toenail on the big toe of my left foot. What a day !!!!

Saturday started with the same pain in lower body. This chemo is not as easy on me as the last regimen. Went to GNC and picked up some glusamine and vitamin b 6. This is going to help with the side effects. This is my life for the last few days. Now you may wonder how I feel and let me tell you not great but so very happy to be alive and to know that I am going to be cancer free because of all the things I am having to do at this time in my life.

I thank God for all my family and good friends. I have so much to be thankful for and each day is better because of these wonderful people in my life.

Keep me in your prayers and love to all.

Vacation

Bobby came for a short visit. It sure was nice to have him home. This is a short version of our visit. He arrived last Tuesday and we just spent some time together and I worked Wednesday. He helped me close out some bank accounts that Mom had. On Thursday we went to Indialantic to visit my other son and his family. Went to lunch, picked up Charles from school, went to grocery store, Tiger cooked out, had dinner. Friday, the guys and I went shopping, ate at Roadhouse Grill, went home. Had Bizarro pizza for dinner and went to coldstone creamery for ice cream. Saturday went to Red Lobster for lunch, bought lap top from Circuit City, went to Dick's sporting goods and bought Gator shirts and cap. Carroll visited Friday afternoon and we had a nice catch up chat. Came home on Sunday, stopped by Wendy's and picked up lunch. Spent rest of day resting. On Monday picked up CD back up of my broken computer from Best Buy, stopped by Macy's to pick up some shirts for Bobby, went to Gabriel's and got subs for lunch.
Came home ate lunch, watched TV, washed clothes,etc. Crystal stopped by to see us. Took Bobby to airport. Now I am just relaxing.
Going to have more lab work this week. My hemoglobin is down to 8.4 and I may need a blood transfusion if it does not go up. Going back to work tomorrow but I wish I could stay home. I just stay so tired all the time. I have dizzy spells every day and I have shortness of breath when I do the least little thing. Keep up the good wishes and prayers.
Love to all. I miss my Bobby all ready.

Chemo # 4

Well I had the last of my AC chemo and now I start my Taxol for 12 weeks, then I go on Femara for 5 years. This time the AC made me extremely tired the same day I had it. I was in bed by 7:30 and slept until 2 A.M. Of course I am on the decadron for 4 days and the emend for 3 days to prevent nausea. I took a compazine tonight because I was a little nauseous not much but they say to take it to prevent it getting any worse so I did.

Tiger and family were suppose to come over for spring break but the car had plans of its own. The green giant decided it was time for a little coddling and some attention for itself and pulled a sneak attack by breaking down. Sure hope they have it back by now. Missed having the kids over but I will be seeing them soon.

Worked all week except for Tuesday which I took off due to a very light schedule. We only had 8 patients. It is nice to have an extra day off. I'm thinking about going on 10 hour days just to get the extra day off each week. Will have to wait until I am finished with chemo to do it. My chemo will be every Wednesday for 11 weeks and then Thursday July 5th will be my last IV chemo. The next step will be the breast reconstruction but not sure when I will start that process.

No big plans for the week end, just the usual stuff around the house.

Have a super week end and a great big hello and love to all.

What If

What if this was your last day? What would you do ? Life is short. Enjoy your time with family and friends. Don't hold grudges. Be happy !!! When I heard about Mrs. Edwards and the return of her cancer it scared me. How do I know my cancer is gone?
I am afraid but I am hopeful. I have so much more I want to do. I want to live. I want to travel. I want to have fun. I want to not be so short of breath.

My greatest joy in life is my family. They are each so precious to me. They are unique individuals and so special in different ways. As I sit here thinking of them I cry and just pray I will be around for years to come to see how they each develop.
Learn, grow and always be there for each other. Above all remember how much I love each one of you.

Looking forward to seeing my kids soon.

More Chemo

Well I thought I only had one more chemo and then I was done but I was dead wrong.
I will need 12 more treatments, one a week for 12 weeks and then a pill every day for 5 years. Oh man and just when I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. I can do this. I will survive. I will be bald forever !!! Who cares ? I love the new me.

The good news is my youngest son will be home in 2 weeks for a visit and I just saw my oldest son and his family and had a super time with them.

Planning on going out to dinner with a bunch of friends tonight. One of my friends will be picking me up and bringing me home. Everyone is being so good to me and they are supporting me 100 %.

Please keep me in your prayers because I need all the help I can get and I do appreciate all the kind thoughts and prayers.

Love to all !

Chemo #3

Well I had my 3rd treatment on Thurs. March 8th and drove myself home for the first time. No problems. Went to work Friday morning, left and came down to visit family in Indialantic. I went to Texas Roadhouse for lunch with Tiger. H saw my head for the first time and didnt seem too shocked. My daughter in law then came home from work and commented on my "nice shaped" head. Tiger went to pick up Charles and when he got home he said I looked "pretty cool". I took a short nap and we had B.L.T's for dinner. I went to bed about 9pm because I was very tired.

Today I got up at 4am, read a little, took medicine and ate a small breakfast. I wasnt feeling well so I took a Compazine for nausea. Charlene woke up, I felt better and we went to a rummage sale and several garage sales to find some goodies. Later, Tiger detailed my car while Charlene, Charles and I went to Friendlys for a very good lunch.

We brought Charles home and then Charlene and I headed off to get a wonderful pedicure and go to the store for dinner fixins. We got taco stuff and headed home for another nap while Charlene cooked dinner.

I woke up and we found a (unbelievably close) wig shop. I found just what I was looking for and it is really comfortable!!

HAVING A WONDERFUL WEEKEND!!! Heading home tomorrow.

Boring Week End

Well I did absolutely nothing all week end. My oldest son was suppose to call Saturday morning to let me know if they could come over or not. Guess his phone must be out of order because I still have not heard from him.

I got a little depressed Saturday afternoon and was wondering what life holds for me in the future. Is the cancer really gone? Is my heart really damaged? Will I stay short of breath for the rest of my life ? What should I do ? What can I do ? I literally have no energy to do anything. Will it get better ? I cook dinner and I can't seem to do much else after working all day. Oh well I must keep trying.

Got Zoe groomed Friday and she smells so much better and looks better. Her grooming cost $36 plus tip. I really should learn to groom her but nah not me.

Plan on going out to dinner tonight. Just because Steak and Ale has Prime Rib for $10.99 and I do love Prime Rib. At least I don't have to cook.

Have a great day !!!!

Side Effects

Well do you remember the old way of thinking of chemo ? Look bad, loose weight, vomiting, nausea, hair loss. Well I only have one of these and it is hair loss. I must say I am a very pretty bald lady (LOL). At least not ugly I hope. Everyone says I have a very nice shaped head. As far as the weight loss goes, well I have gained instead due to the steroids I take to help the treatment. So all the weight I lost is back almost. I think I would rather gain weight than all the other stuff.

I am slowly learning how to live without Mom being with me. I miss her so much and we had so many good times together. Shopping and going out to eat was fun. Still have a lot to do to notify people of her death because I just have not wanted to do all that but I will soon.

Love to all.

Chemo # 2

Well I had my second treatment yesterday and it went very well, no side effects. I had my head shaved on Tuesday because it was falling out everywhere and I just did not want it in my food. My oldest son told me to look on the bright side, at least mine will come back and his won't. Unfortunately both my sons took the bald gene from my side of the family. They also got the looking good gene from my side of the family so it ain't all bad.

Spent last week end with Tiger and family and had a super time. Just relaxed, went shopping, out to eat, pedicure and did some reading. Just a fun time. Thanks for letting me visit.

It has been almost a month since Mom died but it seems like it has been much longer I guess because she had been sick for such a long time. I still look for her at the kitchen table and in her room. I gave all her clothes to a friend who is having a garage sale at her house next week end and the proceeds go to the cancer society for breast cancer.

My brother came over to check and make sure I was ok last night. He has been working in Daytona all week. He has been walking every night to get in shape for the wedding coming up next month.

Blog you all again soon.

Major Melt Down

Well guys it finally hit me yesterday afternoon. My Mom is gone and I mean really gone. I knew this of course but it really hit me yesterday. I don't know if she forgave me or not for putting her in a nursing home and I feel like I should have done more to keep her at home. I can't talk to her and see if she is mad or just to say I love you and miss you more than I can convey with words. I hope she is happy where she is now and enjoying being with family and friends that went before her. Give some of them hell for what they did and give some of them love from here to there.

All I can say is that my friends here at work are super supportive and so very good to me. They talked to me yesterday at my lowest and helped me to just let my feelings out.

Christie and Kai came by to see us and spent a couple of hours visiting. Kai even had supper with us. He has a very healthy appetite. Christie did not know that Mom had died, I thought sure she did but I goofed.

I still love my new SUV. I feel like queen of the road.

LOVE, LAUGHTER, AND HEALTH TO ALL !!!

Banquet

Went to the awards banquet last night with some of my friends. We really had a very nice time.
Dinner was a deluctable salad, chicken marsala with portabella mushrooms, crabmeat stuffed jumbo shrimp, risotto, and broccollini and carrotts. Dessert was vanilla cheesecake with dark chocolate drizzle and shaved chocolate, really yummy.
The entertainment was an Elvis impersonator who was very good except for the movements but none the less enjoyable. Got home around 10:45 p.m. Fine time was had by all in my group.

Having a small side effect from chemo this morning, nothing serious just very jittery, shaking all over and inside but I will get along ok. Thinking about taking med they gave me for this but want to see how long and how bad it could be so will decide later what to do.

Might go and look at cars today. Need to decide very soon. Wish me luck on the search.

If you are reading this let me know so I will know if I should continue to blog.

Bye for now!

Chemo #1

Well it is over. I had my first chemo and so far everything is fine. I sailed through the session with no problems. My good friend Betty stayed with me and we talked the whole time and took a walk and just enjoyed being together. We have to bring cards next time.

Going to my awards banquet tonight with some of my friends. Hope some of my evening clothes will still fit. Oh well I guess I could go in my scrubs (haha).

Keep praying for a smooth trip with the chemo, so many of my prayers have been answered so keep them coming.

Love to all !!

I Am An Orphan

Well the fight is over. Mom died yesterday, she fought a long battle with cancer but it is over. She has gone to a better place and no longer has to struggle to swallow and now the pain has stopped. We will all miss her but she will remain in our hearts.

Today is the first day of my life as an orphan. I have no Father or Mother. How can that be? How do you live without parents? I know you can but why? So many questions but no answers.
Maybe Mom was waiting for me to turn 59 to leave, who knows? Maybe she did not want to see me go through chemo.

My Mother was a (is) a shining star. She loved life and she loved her family. Fly with the doves, tell all the family hello and give some of them hell for what they did, (you know who I mean).
Especially give my love to Daddy and tell him how much I still miss him.

SOAR LIKE AN EAGLE BE FREE LAUGH AGAIN

All my love Mom
Annette

Chemo

Well next week I start chemo. I will be having 4 treatments. I decided not to do the clinical trial. There is just not enough known about the outcome and I decided to do what they do know about. I am anxious to start and I am also afraid to start. Will I get sick, will I soon be bald? The hair will grow back but I am concerned about my eye lashes and eyebrows, but whatever happens I will deal with it and go forward with my life. I just thank God that I have a future.
Everyone keep praying for recovery and all the people who still have need for prayers.
I will not be able to eat any raw vegetables or fruits for a period during my chemo and I sure will miss salads, tomatoes, grapes, cucumbers, etc. I will also miss my medium rare steak but that will only last until the middle of April and I can manage for that long.

My Mother is still going down hill, they are going to have to give her liquid meds or maybe crush her meds and put in applesauce. The cancer is growing and she is having trouble swallowing.
She is still mad at me for putting her in a nursing home but I know deep down she understands.
There seems to be more confusion and then she is perfectly clear. Life is strange but I have always heard that God works in mysterious ways.

Keep praying that I will get through chemo and make the right decisions for family and myself.

Have a great weekend. Love to all.

Welcome 2007

Hope you guys have missed me. Well as you know by now I had to have more surgery on Dec. 15th, the good news was that none of the nodes taken out had cancer but this surgery was more painful than the mastectomy. I am doing fine and I returned to work Jan. 8th. The week was tiring but I survived.

My (2) sons and grandson were very helpful with Granny over the holidays. I just want you to know how much I appreciated all the help. We had to put her in a nursing home on Jan. 8th and she is still mad at me. She does not understand why she cannot be at home but we just could not take care of her and meet all her needs. When she got to the point where she could not get up and walk we had no choice, she was just too weak to do anything but smoke.

I see my doctors today to get my schedule for chemo (Dr. Shah) and post-op (Dr. Arnold). Maybe by this summer all my treatments will be over and life can get back to normal for the McDougall family.

Thanks for all my wonderful gifts at Christmas but the best gift was having all my family with me.

Today is my birthday and I am 59 years young and I am looking forward to a great day and many more to come. Love to all my fans (haha).

Post Mastectomy

Well I had my surgery on Friday and I did good. The surgery took about 3 1/2 hours, of course they lost my specimen so I have to wait for the results of my lymph node biopsy until Tuesday or Wednesday so keep thinking positive thoughts for me.
The surgery was ok, I am just feeling uncomfortable not a lot of pain but lots of discomfort. I spent one night in the hospital and came home around 4 pm on Saturday.

I have had a lot of phone calls and a visitors. It sure is nice to feel all the love and support.

My friends at work made several food donations and we have enjoyed them so far.
My husband has been the cook, clothes washer, cleaner upper and he is doing a good job.

I am going to rest some now. Keep the prayers coming and pray for a cure for cancer, it needs to be cured now so other people don't have to deal with all this.

Love to all.

Count Down Has Started

Well today I start all my work-up for my surgery on Friday. Things are going well so far but I will be glad when the surgery is over. Am I nervous, yes and no. Will I be able to stay at home for 6 weeks? No - 2 weeks at most I hope. All my friends are super supportive and my family has been wonderful. Not sure yet when I will start chemo but I hope it goes as well as my Moms' did as far as the side effects .

Mom is not doing well. She has had to call again and get stronger medicine for the 3rd time. She will be taking something with morphine in it. I hope I will be able to help her while I am trying to recuperate. Life is not easy but at least it is life.

Thanksgiving was very nice. Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves but we needed Bobby there but he had a super time in "Paree". I am so glad he had a good time. Next year hopefully I will be able to go somewhere with him.

I have got most of my Christmas shopping done and wrapped believe it or not, just a few more items and then I am done.

Have a fun filled week and enjoy life!

Mastectomy

Well this may sound very weird but I got some good news today. All my scans came back negative, I have arthritis everywhere but not cancer. I will need to have a mastectomy and chemo but I can deal with that. They will check my lymph nodes when they do the mastectomy and I will start chemo pretty soon after surgery. I really like my oncologist. She is very straight forward but compassionate at the same time.
I will not be having breast reconstruction at this time but maybe in 6 months to a year. She recommends that I wait and not put any foreign objects in my body at this time. The other good news is that the kind of cancer I have does not usually spread to the other breast. All my friends at work have been super supportive and (2) of them went with me today for the results. They are the best people in the world to have as co-workers. I could not have been as strong without their support. My family has also been very supportive emotionally and monetarily and I really appreciate all their help and money to help with my treatment. It is going to be very expensive but somehow we will make it. I still need all your prayers and love.
All my love and heartfelt thanks to each and everyone, especially to God for answering my prayers and all the prayers from friends and family.
I'll be around to bug the heck out of you all!!!!

Dancing With The Stars

Well it is almost over. Joey is gone. He really put on a good show and he was very
easy to watch. I don't know who I want to win, they each have such a way about them.
Mario is Mario but Emmitt is just a teddy bear you want to hug, he looks like he is having so much fun and enjoying himself. Mario seems too intense sometimes. Oh well may the best dancer win. I enjoyed the preview of the tour for the dancers but Harry Hamlin is just not up to par with all the others, Lisa needs to give him some private lessons.

Have a good week, have fun.

Weight

Why is it when you think you are losing weight you aren't. I know I am not eating as much as usual but the weight is not coming off. Of course I don't exercise and I know I should but the only excuse I have is that I am too lazy to work out.

It is 0300 in the morning and I have been awake for one hour. Went to bed about 8:30 and just could not sleep any more.

So who do you think is going to win Dancing With The Stars? I hope it will be Emmitt because he is just too cute for words and seems to be a "real" person. Mario is probably the technically better dancer but he seems to know he is and does not seem to be as charismatic as Emmitt.

My son is right. It is hard to watch Luke and Laura on GH now. You remember how they were and it seems strange to see them as they are now, especially Laura. She has not aged well but maybe she just needs some make-up to look better.

Well it is time to start another week. Hope this will be a good week for all.
Bye for now.