THE LAST LECTURE

WOW what a powerful lecture. If you go back to my blog of 12-23-07 you will see that I wrote about 'IF I COULD SAVE TIME IN A BOTTLE'. That song to me says it all. Each and everyone one of us have a chance to be special to someone. I just hope each of you know how very special you are to me. There are things in all our lives that we are not proud of but I hope I have shown more love and been there for my family.

I worry each day that the Big C is still with me. God willing it is gone but how do I know for sure. I want to be here for years to come and to lead a productive life and just have fun and help where I am needed.

This Wednesday I am suppose to have knee surgery and I am not looking forward to it at all. For some reason it is more scary to me than my last surgeries. Maybe I am just a wimp. Don't even know how I hurt my knee, just started having pain. One of lifes little surprises.

The Last lecture I am talking about is by Randy Pausch. A young man dying of pancreatic cancer which has spread to other parts of his body. He is an inspiration to so many people. What a legend he will be leaving his kids. Live life, have fun, go on trips, love your family and friends, climb the walls, be all that you can be.
May God Bless him and his family.

Just remember IT IS WHAT IT IS I love you all forever and forever. Nothing will dim the love I have for all of you. God keep you healthy and happy.

Tiger stop smoking now. Be there for your son.
Bobby stay healthy and try to get the weight off now while you are still young. Don't do like me and stay overweight.
Charlene get your mammogram.
Charles stay my sweet grandson like you are now.
Mac lay off the sweets and keep smiling.

Love and Kisses
ABM

How time flies

It seems like the year just started and here we in the last week of February. As we get older time seems to fly by and the days are just not long enough for all you want to do, besides who can stay awake long enough to do everything? Not me that is for sure.

Went down to Indialantic on the 15th and had a very nice time with Tiger and his family. Didn't do much just relaxed. While I was visiting I had the pleasure of meeting a very nice 15 year old girl named Tara. She is the daughter of one of Charlenes' friend. You don't hear many nice things about teenagers but I must say she was just a delight to meet and talk to. She has her head on straight and we had a very nice time talking.

Tiger, Charles, and I went to Texas Roadhouse for lunch on Saturday and had a great meal. Then we went to Wal-Mart and were in and out within 15 minutes. Hard to believe but true.

I have been watching American Idol and the young kids are better singers than the older contestants. We will have to wait and see how this season goes.

The bad news I heard is that Las Vegas and Big Shots have been cancelled. How can they not let us know what will be happening to these characters. I sure would like to know. At least wrap up the story line before you cancel a show.

Not real impressed with the new contestants on DWTS but oh well maybe they will surprise me and be good. Priscilla Presley needs to have her face redone and fix her lips. Elvis would not give her a look now that is for sure!

Going to MD today and tomorrow, soooo much fun, can't wait.

Have a super week and love to all.

Relief

Well all the tests I have had came back negative which is good. But what should I do about the growth in my neck? Should I just ignore it or should I have it removed? I found this thing back the first week in December and it has not changed. With my history I worry. Guess I'll make a decision soon.

Life is good. I enjoy my family even though I don't see them very much. They call when they can and that is much appreciated.

My husband and I go out to lunch and breakfast sometimes. Not much else going on here in Orlando. I have seen my brother several times in the last two weeks which is very nice.

I have gained three pounds since January 18th. Eating too much junk food.

Happy days to all. God Bless. God has answered a lot of my prayers and I am very thankful for that.

Happy Holidays

We had a very nice Christmas here at "The McDougall" home. Most of my family was here to share a nice day and a very nice dinner. The best part was just being together. I am just sorry the rest of the family could not be here. My brother and nephew did come over on Christmas Eve for a visit. I just want to Thank God for giving us another year together.

Today my poor husband is sick. I think he has food poisoning from eating raw oysters or just maybe he ate too much junk, anyway he has been in bed all day what time he is not in the bathroom. No one else is ill thank goodness.

Bobby is washing clothes. Tiger and family have gone home. Mac is in bed and I am just messing around.

Happy Holidays to all.

IF I COULD SAVE TIME IN A BOTTLE

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL SONG. I heard this song early this morning and it really says what is in my heart. Have you told your family how much they mean to you. I hope I have.
There is no one more precious to me than my boys, this includes Mac, Tiger, Bobby, Charles, and Butch. Each of you are a big part of my heart. I love each of you so very much.Charlene has been more than a daughter-in-law to me, she has been friend and also someone to talk to and I love her as a daughter and cherish all our times together. Sharon, Jason, and Crystal have all been very special in my life and I love each of them. My co-workers have been there for me, cried with me, prayed with me, laughed with me and made me feel like I am appreciated. I love each of them for their huge hearts and for all the hours of fun and work we have shared. Helen, Maury, Steve, Carolyn, and Vickie have been a huge part of my life for a very long time and I love each of them. TELL YOUR FAMILY HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THEM, CALL THEM, SPEND AS MUCH TIME WITH THEM AS POSSIBLE, BE THERE IF THEY NEED YOU. DON'T PUT IT OFF UNTIL TOMORROW. TOMORROW MAYBE TOO LATE. CHERISH YOUR TIME TOGETHER. I LOVE YOU ALL.

Next Tuesday is Christmas. My first one without my Mom. I miss her so much and I hope she is healthy and happy and having fun in Heaven. I cry and feel sorry for myself because now I am an orphan but life does go on and I know she would want me to be happy. Most of my family will be here for us to share our new tradition of steak and baked potatoes for dinner. Can't wait to see everyone.

Will Santa be good to me? I hope so because I have been a pretty good girl this year.

Everyone keep the prayers going for me because I need all the help I can get.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Life

A year ago today my journey began. It was a very difficult year, full of fear, what was happening to me? Would I survive? Can I do what I need to do to live? Will my family and friends still love the new me? Will cancer take over my life? I still don't have all the answers but I am here and I am still fighting the battle. The chemo left me with some side effects. I have neuropathy in both feet and I still don't have much hair. The radiation gave me second degree burns but they have healed.
The Femara which I will take for (5) years is rough. I have muscle, joint, and bone ache and pain. I find it hard to use my left hand because it hurts so bad. I have swelling in my left leg but I am still here. Am I sad? Yes, because it has been hard but they learn more each day about cancer and I hope there is a cure soon.

LIFE.... A journey with different pathways that lead to the place we are meant to be.
The road was long, the journey was difficult... but I did it!!!

While all this was going on I was dealing with how to help my Mother who had lung cancer. Could I be strong enough for both of us, how could I help her, what should I do? She lost her battle to cancer in January. I just hope and pray she knew how much I loved her and how much I miss her. Her room is still as she left it, all I gave away were her clothes for a garage sale to raise money for cancer research. Life does go on with all the ups and downs.

To all my friends and family Thank You so much for the support, love, and caring.
My life is better because you are all in it. I love all of you.

God Bless...stay strong...take care...

O U C H

Well let me tell you that 2nd degree radiation burns really hurt. I have burns under my left arm, lt chest, and lt upper neck. The ones under my arm and left chest hurt the worst because of tha fat rolls so there is always friction in these areas. I am using a special burn cream and it is helping it will just take a long time to heal due to the areas where they are. Thank God I only have two more treatments and the radiation therapy will be over. It has been a long journey but hopefully it will be over soon. God has been good to me and my family and friends have been supportive.
Life goes on.

Not much else happening in my neck of the woods. Don't see much of the family anymore, everyone is busy with their lives and it has been so hot we all just want to rest when we can. I don't have much energy so I just stay home and rest. My hubby usually takes me shopping because I can't seem to get up the energy to go alone, he has been a big help over this last year with my health problems.

The girls at work take me out to dinner once in a while and are very good to me.
My friends at work have been so very good to me.

Love and health to all.

HOT AS HADES

It is hot, hot, HOT. When you walk outside it feels like you are walking into an oven set at 400 degrees. It is so hot that you just want to stay inside with the nice cool a/c blowing on you.

Did a little shopping this weekend at the Big K and of course Publix. Not a lot of good sales but just needed to get out of the house for a short while. Stopped at Steak & Shake and had a burger and fries for lunch. We also had Gabriel subs for dinner because I hate to cook on week ends. However I did make Sloppy Joes for Sunday lunch.

So far I have had (14) radiation treatments and I have (19) more to go. I see Dr. Shah tomorrow and she will tell me about the chemo pill I will be taking for the next (5) years. There is so much they know about cancer and there is still so much to learn, things change everyday so you just have to trust your doctors and hope for the best.

My Mother-In-Law has been in the hospital since Tuesday night. She is doing better but she has a condition called "CHF" Congestive Heart Failure and there is no cure for it. She just needs to take her meds especially the diuretics to help her get rid of fluid retention.

Hope everyone had a wondeful week end. Keep me in your prayers.
Love to all.

Life Goes On

So far I have received 6 out of 33 radiation treatments. They are done every day of the week except Saturday and Sunday. The treatments take about 15-20 minutes, the hard part is the positioning which has to be exact for every treatment. The ladies that work in the department are all very nice.

Not much going on here just a lot of rain. It has been real hot and the humidity is awful as usual.

Take care one and all.

Vacation

I finally got a week off from the chemo and all the doctor visits so Bobby and I went on vacation for a few days. We went down to Indialantic to visit Tiger and family. We had a very nice time, went out to lunch, went swimming, relaxed and I slept a lot. We came home on Wednesday and just relaxed for the rest of the week before Bobby had to leave for home on Sunday morning. Christy, John and the kids came over on Friday afternoon for a visit and Bobby went out to dinner with them.
Angie came over Saturday afternoon and it was so good to see her again, she and Bobby went out that night for dinner and a little shopping.

Came back to work on Monday. Today I see the radiation oncologist to get set up for my radiation therapy. I have to have 33 treatments so this starts another part of my cancer treatment.

Bobby has been sick since he got home so I hope he feels better real soon and can start having fun again.

Love and kisses to all. Keep praying for me.

Taxol # 12

The week started out on a good note. I went out to dinner with (7) of my friends Monday night to Buca De Beppo. Dinner was very good and we all enjoyed ourselves.
The antipasta was wonderful.

Tuesday I went to work as usual and the day seemed to take forever. I know it was a long day because I was anxious to have my last chemo treatment. Finally the time arrived and I got my last treatment, I finished about 1530 and (6) of my friends were there to see me ring the bell. Betty has been with me for all of my treatments except for two, she has taken me home when I could not drive and called to check on me and just been a true friend. My friends that were with me when I rang the bell were: Betty, Joanne, Brenda, Donna, Jackie, and Kathy. All my co workers have been very supportive and helpful during my treatment. Next I start my radiation, I will keep you posted.

Have a great day and God Bless all.
Keep praying!!!

Taxol #11

Eleven down one to go. The end is nearly here for the chemo and I thank God for all his help to get me through this treatment. It has been the hardest thing I have ever had to do. You feel so tired you just want to stay in bed all the time. The treatment it self is not bad, it's just the after effects. I have lost several toenails, all my hair, gotten brown pigmentation on my neck, dry skin but I have survived all that. I have my last treatment next Tuesday and my friend Betty has been with me all the way, she has only missed two treatments, she is certainly a gift from God. I feel better today than I have for a while.

Went to see Dancing With The Stars Monday night with two of my friends. We had a really good time. We were in nosebleed section and I really had to push myself to get up all those stairs to row P, what a hike that was but I made it. We saw Joey Lawrence, Joey McIntire, Joey Fatone, and Drew Lachey and they were all really good.
They also did some singing and they were really good as a quartet singing 50"s songs.
The dancing was really good and they all did their free style from the shows. The pros were excellent as well, Louie, Alex, Kim and the one who won with Apolo but I can not remember her name. They also had other dancers there.

My Bobby came in early this morning from NYC. It is so good to have him home for 2 1/2 weeks. I'm sure we will have some fun while he is here. I just have to remember to pace myself and not over do.

More news later, love to all. Keep praying for me.

Taxol # 10

Ten down and two to go. Yesterday went very well. They started me late but that happens sometimes in a hospital setting. I finished my treatment about 1530 and got home around 1600. The treatment sometimes makes me very tired so I went to bed about 1930. Slept very well. The nurse I had yesterday was not as on the ball as most of the nurses I have had so far but she was very nice.

Took Tuesday off because we had a very low census at work and I just lazed around all day. All I did was wash a load of clothes and cook a ham, so as you can see I had a real hard day.

Next week Bobby is coming home for 2 1/2 weeks and I am really excited about doing some things with him. It will be fun. I have to remember to pace myself and not do too much.

Hope all of you are having a great week, lots of love to all.
Keep me in your prayers.

Taxol # 9

Well I had my 9th treatment and I was home by 3:15 P.M. The treatments are not hard, they just take time for the fluids to run into my port and then I get to drive home.
The highlight of the day is we get a fresh baked cookie at 2:00 P.M. each Wednesday when I have my treatment. The nicest volunteer (Jenny) makes the cookies and brings them around, she also hangs around and we talk about shopping and fun things. I felt really good yesterday, today is not as good.

Have you been watching Army Wives and The Starter Wife, these shows are pretty good.
Just wonder how true they are to real life. I cannot imagine one of my sons hitting me, I think I would put a stop to that somehow, maybe a 2x4 against the head to get their attention. Life is strange and things do happen but I am not a door mat for anyone. I have also started watching Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader and let me tell you I AM NOT. It is amazing what I have forgot that I learned in school all those years ago.

No plans this week end except to take my husband out for Father's Day.
Hope you all have a great week end.
Keep up the prayers for my recovery.
Love to all.

Taxol # 8

Eight down four to go. Can I do it? I sure hope so. The days get longer and the energy gets lower and lower. I am trying to keep up with life but it sure is hard. I have never been so tired in my entire life. I just keep praying for strenghth.

Picked up the kids from the airport on Thursday. They had a super trip and they all had great tans to show for their trip to Hawaii. They left Friday morning for home.

I broke my toe Thursday night. It hurts a lot. I am working but wish I was home with it propped up.

Had a very boring week end, did not do anything.

Taxol # 6 and # 7

Things are looking better. I only have 5 more treatments of chemo and then I start my radiation for 33 treatments. If things don't change I will be finished in September. It has been a long road and I have not felt real good, the main problem being extremely tired all the time but I have felt better yesterday and today than I have in a very long time. Prayer has helped me more than I can say, I am not a deeply religious person but God has been there for me and he has answered many of my prayers over the years and he is helping me now to deal with this crisis in my life. My point being is pray everyday and believe in God.

I spent a very lazy weekend. All I did was a little shopping. Bought a new washer and dryer on Saturday, picked up my computer from Best Buy, got a new monitor and now my mouse does not work, oh well I hope to go shopping this weekend and get a mouse. Had dinner at Houlihan's Saturday evening, it was ok. Spent all day Sunday at home.

Monday went to grocery store and bought a beautiful sirloin and some short ribs and Mac cooked them on the grill Monday afternoon and they turned out delicious. We had the same for dinner on Tuesday because there was so much left and I even had more left which I froze for my next batch of vegetable beef soup.

Talked to Charlene and Charles on Sunday and they are having a good time in Hawaii. My son was sleeping when I called. Talked to Bobby and he stays so busy all the time but he seems to love his life so I am very happy for him. Hopefully next year we can go on some more trips and I hope to make my trip to NYC again real soon.

Peace, joy, and love to all. Keep praying for me.

Annette

TAXOL # 5

Well I saw Dr. Buchholz on Monday the 14th and found out I need to have 33 treatments of radiation to complete my cancer treatment. I will get my simulation on July 18th to make sure they target the right area.

Got tickets to go see DWTS on June 25th with some friends. Can't wait to see the dancing and all that jive.

Roadrunner tech came today (14th) could not fix computer. Took back to Best Buy on Saturday and they could not get the computer or the monitor to work, sent back for repair.

Had chemo on Wednesday (16th), things went fine, got home around 4 p.m.

Only worked 4 hours on Friday. I was just exhausted and not much help to my co-workers. Slept until 1:30p.m.

Rested all day Saturday until 5:30 then went to dinner and took computer to Best Buy. Lazy Sunday to grocery store at 7 a.m. then relaxed rest of day.

Last week end had company. Tiger and Charles spent Saturday night here and we took Vickie out for Mother's Day. Butch, Crystal and the (3) Jason's came over for the evening on Saturday and we spent the time talking. It was a very nice family evening. Tiger and Charles went home after Carroll and Charlene picked them up. A nice time was had by all.

Excuse the rambling. Love to all.

Taxol # 4

Four down eight to go. Things are going better with the treatment. I went to ber at 6:30 P.M. last night, it wipes me out that first day and then I do pretty good.
Have to go see a Radiology Oncology Doctor on Monday for a consult since the protocol has changed so much in the last six months. I'll do whatever they decide just to make sure all the cancer is gone.

I was really upset that Joey was in the bottom (2) on DWTS, Ian did much worse than him but the American public must love Ian more. I knew La Kisha would be going home last night on AI, Blake should go next and Jordin should win. She is amazing for a 17 year old.

Still waiting to hear about my land inheritance in SC, guess things move really slow up there. Maybe I'll build a place up there and move. Yea, like Mac would do that.

Not much else going on right now, will update next week after seeing Doctor.

Chemo # 3 For Taxol

Well I had my 3rd treatment yesterday and it went well. My blood count has dropped to 9.9 so I will probably need a transfusion in a couple of more weeks. I see my doctor next Wednesday and I have another treatment next Wednesday. I took a nap when I got home and woke up when I heard my husband unlocking the front door. He brought Gabriel subs home for dinner. They were super delicious. My side effects usually start on Friday but this week I am not going to have any.

I watched American Idol and the 2 guys who went home were the ones I predicted.
Next week the 4 remaining better step up their game plans because they are all good.
Make sure you watch Grey's Anatomy tonight it is a 2 hour special.

My super sweet son called last night and we had a 3 way conversation with Mac, me, and him. He wanted to make sure my treatment went ok. It was almost like he was there with us, just yakking about things.

I almost had a serious heart attack on Tuesday. I got home from work and could not find our dog Zoe. I looked in all the rooms and outside twice, could not find her anywhere. I was going to call Mac to see if something had happened to her and I decided I should call Terry first to see if she had seen her when she cleaned house, when about that time I heard snoring. I looked where the sound was coming from and sure enough she was behind the big brown chair snoozing away, she has never gone behind that chair to sleep. I called Mac to let him know that he almost had to take me to the ER and he laughed when I told him. I guess I am more attached to her than I thought.

Tried to cook meatballs to bring for a luncheon today but I burned them. I followed the directions on the package but my oven must be set higher than the 350 degrees I set it on. Guess I will have to call Sears and get it checked, (under warranty).

I hope each and everyone of you will have a super day and specail love to all.

April 25th chemo

Well I had my second treatment of Taxol last Wednesday. My blood count dropped to 10.5 from 11.4 which is not bad but I just hope it does not drop lower. My nurse today was Kristin and she was very nice. She told me some things I did not know. With the Taxol if you are going to get sick it is usually the 3rd day which has happened to me twice. She told me to start taking my Compazine every 6 hours for three days and it really did work. I only had slight bone pain in my left leg, so things went better this time. Today I will have my 3rd treatment.

Mac and I went to Indialantic last Friday and stayed until Sunday night. It was a very relaxing weekend. Mac, Tiger, and Charles went fishing Saturday and Sunday. They caught some fish. Check out the blogs for Bobby and Charlene for pictures.
Friday we went to Texas Roadhouse for lunch and it was delicious. Tiger grilled pork chops outside and I fixed the other stuff for dinner Friday night. On Saturday we had a low country boil with oysters, shrimp, kielbasa, corn, and saltines.We also had chips with salsa for snacking.

Sunday was the big day for Charles. We went to Andretti Thrill Park for his birthday and there were 10-12 of his friends there to celebrate. They had pizza, cold drinks, and a ice cream cake. The pizza was really good. HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHARLES!!!!! What fun we had.

Monday I rested and got caught up on all my programs. Back to work on Tuesday. No rest for the weary (haha).

Will blog more after my chemo today. Have a super day and week.